Monday, June 16, 2008

A Sample of My Writing

I hope to post some fiction or poetry on my blog sometime, but for now, here's an essay I wrote for my college English class this past semester. It's a true story. Enjoy!

Meal or Menace?

First they attacked my aunt.

She was strolling down a deserted gravel road with her sister-in-law, hoping to enjoy the nature and maybe catch a glimpse of the wildlife that lives on the 200-acre farm. Neither of them knew that they were being trailed. The stalkers prowled on stealthy legs through the nearby rye field, their savage eyes never leaving the two walkers. They snaked their way through the swaying rye and at last darted in front of the startled women. With a scream my aunt and her sister-in-law turned and dashed back up the road toward the safety of the farmhouse. One of the group still pursued them, and his powerful legs kicked up a small sandstorm behind him. He only halted when they had reached my grandparents’ mailbox near the house. With a cluck of satisfaction and a rustle of feathers, he sauntered away.

Who were these attackers? Thugs? Gangsters? Robbers? No. My aunt was attacked by wild turkeys.

These once-rare birds had first been spotted the previous Thanksgiving, when we all gathered at my grandparents’ house for the traditional family feast. The turkeys lay low in the woods, only daring to make their appearance after we had filled our stomachs with one of their unlucky cousins. Nobody knows where they came from or why they suddenly appeared.

My grandma, delighted with the huge birds, adopted them as her feral pets (to join the bunnies and the deer). She dotes on them with corn and birdseed, and she worries about them when it gets cold. Plenty of hopeful hunters have come up to ask if they could hunt on the property, but my grandma won’t allow it. “No one is going to shoot them!” she says fiercely. “My poor babies! Mommy’s looking out for you!”

However, since she started feeding them, they’
ve come back every day looking for more. And they’ve gotten pushy about it, too. If you don’t have any food, they chase you. If you don’t come outside, they peck at the house and peer in the kitchen window. Many times my grandma has been startled by a “peeping tom.”

The turkeys’ appearance alone can intimidate a wildcat or send a Rottweiler running off with his tail between his legs. Their heads look like they were dipped in lard, then stuck crudely on their scrawny pink necks. Most of the males have “beards” in the middle of their chests, which they puff out while they strut about, giving the impression of a pompous judge or a wealthy businessman. I don’t know why my grandma keeps feeding those fat old vultures.

Ever since that first incident with my aunt, the turkeys have chased everyone from the mailman to the meter reader. Whenever someone comes over to my grandparents’ house, my grandpa tells them, “Watch out for those turkeys.” Oh, and I would like to add some of my own advice: don’t hang around in your car too long. The bloodthirsty birds will attack your vehicle.

However, there are some advantages to having these crazy birds around. The turkeys keep away trespassers, door-to-door salespeople, and other unwelcome intruders. When I’m safe in my bed, I can sleep peacefully knowing that a rafter of wild turkeys is patrolling the block. I almost feel sorry for any prowlers out there. Almost. I have to say I would love to see those vandals who break the windows of my grandpa’s barn screaming in fear as they run from a pack of man-eating turkeys.

I would appreciate any comments or suggestions- I'm desperate to improve my writing, and I'm always curious to hear what people think about my writing.


DTH Rocket said...

My only comment is "HA HA HA!!" Good writing! I like it.

R2K said...

Great story! Very funny images. We had some turkey problems in our area in the past also. That sound they make "Obba gobble gobble" is burned into my brain because it is fun from a distance but dangerous up close. I have seen them attack bikers in the middle of the road.

I love to do poetry and short stories , and have some good news for you if you want to improve your skills:

The bible. Some of the best, most dramatic poetry can be found in there, and that kind of poetry is my style. Do not be afraid to start your most powerful sentences with "and", finding a rythm. Even comedy can be better when it is built inside a frame of serious text. Use timing also: Rather than saying "This was the reason why I was so mad", say "This, then, was the source of all my anger."

I guess what I mean to say is make your work seem as important as you can, because it must matter to you if you spend your time working on it!

Evergreena said...

r2k- Thank you for your comments!

About the Bible: I, too, love the poetry in the Psalms and other books. It does have a unique and intriguing quality to it. But I like it not only because it is powerful at the poetic level- it also has amazing spiritual influence! My church is going through a series about the Psalms right now. It's called Thinking and Feeling with God, because the poetry is emotional (connecting with our feelings) and logical (connecting with our mind). I love to study the Bible and hopefully learn a lot more about how to use the beauty and mystery of language to Glorify God, because, after all, He is the true Author of all things.